Understanding Grief: Major Psychological and Psychoanalytic Theories

Grief is one of the most studied emotional experiences in psychology and psychoanalysis. This article explores how major thinkers — from Freud to modern psychologists — have explained the process of mourning, why it matters, and what happens when grief remains unresolved.

The Foundations of Grief in Psychoanalysis

1. Sigmund Freud — Mourning and Melancholia (1917)

Core idea: Grief is a natural psychological process; melancholy is its pathological form.
Summary:
Freud explains that when we lose someone, the psychic energy (libido) invested in that person must be gradually withdrawn and reinvested elsewhere. This inner “work of mourning” is painful but essential for restoring emotional balance.
If the process fails, the person identifies with the lost object, internalizes the loss, and develops depressive symptoms — this is melancholia.
👉 Major contribution: the first theoretical framework of grief in psychoanalysis.

2. Melanie Klein — Mourning and its Relation to Manic-Depressive States (1940)

Core idea: Grief reactivates early childhood conflicts.
Summary:
For Klein, mourning revives the fear of losing the loved object — just as a child fears losing the mother. The work of grief involves repairing the lost object internally and restoring emotional equilibrium.
When this fails, the person oscillates between guilt, anger, and denial (manic or depressive states).
👉 Major contribution: grief reveals the universal human capacity to symbolize and to love.

3. Paul-Claude Racamier — Primary Mourning (1980)

Key idea: The concept of Primary Mourning describes the first and fundamental experience of loss that every human being undergoes in early life.
Summary: Racamier explains that before facing any external bereavement, each person must first mourn the loss of the original fusion with the mother. This primal separation allows the birth of individuality and makes all later mourning possible. In this view, every subsequent grief reawakens traces of this first, foundational separation — making mourning not only an emotional process but a structural element of psychic life.
👉 Major contribution: Racamier expanded psychoanalytic theory by revealing the origins of mourning in the very construction of the self — showing that grief is not only about loss, but about becoming. His exploration of Primary Mourning later opened the way to his seminal work on narcissistic perversions, a concept he was the first to define and name, thus reshaping the psychoanalytic understanding of pathological narcissism and relational dynamics.

The Psychology of Attachment and Loss

4. John Bowlby — Attachment and Loss (1969–1980)

Core idea: Grief is a response to a broken attachment bond.
Summary:
Bowlby, founder of attachment theory, shows that grief results from the rupture of deep emotional bonds. He describes four phases:

Numbness or shock
Yearning and searching for the lost person
Disorganization and despair
Reorganization and reinvestment
If the process is interrupted, the bereaved may remain fixated on the lost figure or fall into apathy.
👉 Major contribution: the biological and emotional basis of grief as an adaptive response.

5. Colin Murray Parkes — Bereavement: Studies of Grief in Adult Life (1972)

Core idea: Grief is a major stress that requires time and meaning-making.
Summary:
Parkes views mourning as an identity transition: the person must reconstruct a sense of self that integrates the loss.
He highlights the risk of disenfranchised grief — when mourning is unrecognized or socially invalidated, it can cause psychological and physical harm.
👉 Major contribution: understanding grief as a reconstruction of self.

The Evolution of Modern Grief Models

6. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross — On Death and Dying (1969)

Core idea: The five “stages” of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
Summary:
Originally observed among terminally ill patients, Kübler-Ross’s model later became applied to grief in general.
These stages are not linear — everyone experiences them differently.
👉 Major contribution: a compassionate, universal view of grief as a human journey rather than a pathology.
Limitation: descriptive, not therapeutic.

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7. J. William Worden — Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy (1982)

Core idea: Grief involves active tasks to be completed.
Summary:
Worden defines four tasks of mourning:

Accept the reality of the loss.
Experience the pain of grief.
Adjust to a world without the deceased.
Reinvest emotional energy in new relationships.
👉 Major contribution: a practical therapeutic model for guiding healthy mourning.

8. Margaret Stroebe & Henk Schut — Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement (1999)

Core idea: Grief alternates between loss and restoration.
Summary:
They propose two types of coping:

Loss-oriented (facing the pain, memories, emotions)
Restoration-oriented (daily functioning, rebuilding life)
Healthy grieving involves oscillating between both poles, not remaining fixed in one.
👉 Major contribution: flexibility and balance are keys to adaptation.

9. George A. Bonanno — The Other Side of Sadness (2009)

Core idea: Most people are naturally resilient after loss.
Summary:
Through decades of research, Bonanno demonstrates that about 60% of bereaved individuals show natural resilience without prolonged distress.
👉 Major contribution: highlights the role of emotional resilience and positive emotions in recovery.

Clinical and Therapeutic Approaches

10. Erich Lindemann — “Symptomatology and Management of Acute Grief” (1944)

Core idea: The first clinical framework of pathological grief.
Summary:
Based on survivors of the Coconut Grove fire in Boston, Lindemann described symptoms such as guilt, somatic pain, and disorientation.
He showed that early emotional expression prevents later complications.
👉 Major contribution: the foundation of modern grief intervention.

11. M. Katherine Shear — Complicated Grief Treatment (2005–2020)

Core idea: Distinguishing prolonged grief disorder from depression.
Summary:
Shear developed a specific, evidence-based therapy combining emotional exposure, meaning-making, and restoration of life goals.
👉 Major contribution: formal recognition of Prolonged Grief Disorder as a distinct clinical entity.

12. Therese A. Rando — Treatment of Complicated Mourning (1993)

Core idea: Grieving involves six active processes — the “6 R’s.”
Summary:
Rando’s therapeutic model outlines:

Recognize the loss
React to the separation
Recollect and re-experience
Relinquish old attachments
Readjust to the new world
Reinvest in new relationships
👉 Major contribution: structured approach to complicated grief therapy.

13. Mardi J. Horowitz — Stress Response Syndromes (1976)

Core idea: Grief is a particular kind of post-traumatic stress.
Summary:
Horowitz describes the alternation between avoidance and intrusive memories after loss.
Therapy aims to integrate the event into autobiographical memory.
👉 Major contribution: bridges grief theory and trauma theory.

Meaning, Bonds, and Resilience

14. Robert A. Neimeyer — Meaning Reconstruction and the Experience of Loss (2001)

Core idea: Rebuilding meaning is the heart of mourning.
Summary:
Neimeyer views grief as an existential crisis where one must reconstruct a coherent life narrative after loss.
👉 Major contribution: introduced the meaning reconstruction approach, now central in modern grief therapy.

15. Simon Shimshon Rubin — Two-Track Model of Bereavement (1981)

Core idea: Two simultaneous paths — the self and the bond.
Summary:
Rubin identifies two parallel dimensions:

The person’s biopsychosocial functioning.
The ongoing emotional bond with the deceased.
Healthy mourning integrates both.
👉 Major contribution: understanding that continuing bonds can coexist with emotional well-being.

16. Dennis Klass, Phyllis Silverman & Steven Nickman — Continuing Bonds (1996)

Core idea: Maintaining symbolic connection is healthy.
Summary:
These authors challenge Freud’s idea that one must “detach” from the deceased. Instead, they show that maintaining a transformed, symbolic relationship fosters healing.
👉 Major contribution: foundation of the continuing bonds perspective in contemporary grief work.

17. Beverley Raphael — The Anatomy of Bereavement (1983)

Core idea: Grief takes different forms depending on context and relationship.
Summary:
Raphael provides a clinical map of grief reactions across ages and situations — child loss, parental loss, collective grief, trauma, etc.
She highlights risk factors and preventive interventions.
👉 Major contribution: a medical and preventive view of mourning.

Overall Synthesis

Aspect	Main Authors	Key Insights
The Process of Grieving	Freud, Worden, Stroebe & Schut	Active psychological work, oscillation between loss and recovery
The Importance of Grieving	Bowlby, Parkes, Raphael	Restores emotional and social balance
Consequences of Unresolved Grief	Klein, Shear, Rando, Horowitz	Depression, prolonged grief, attachment disorders
Modern Approaches	Neimeyer, Klass, Bonanno	Meaning reconstruction, continuing bonds, resilience

From Grief to Growth: The philosophy of Tree-Urn

To grieve is to transform love into memory, and absence into meaning.
Every culture, every heart finds its own language to express loss — through silence, words, or rituals.
At Tree Urn, we believe that grief is the beginning of a new me — the continuation of life through renewal.
A symbol that death and life are not opposites, but part of the same cycle.
Discover how Tree Urn can help you through the process of mourning.
→ Read our full article

“To change the world around us, we must first change the way we look at death… and therefore at life.”

References and Authoritative Sources

FAQ – Understanding Grief

Q1: Why is mourning important for emotional healing?
Mourning allows us to express pain, release attachment, and gradually rebuild inner balance. Without it, grief can remain frozen and prevent renewal.

Q2: How long does the grieving process last?
There is no fixed timeline. Research shows that healthy mourning can last from several months to a few years, depending on the relationship and circumstances.

Q3: Can grief lead to depression?
Yes. When the process of mourning is blocked or suppressed, unresolved grief can evolve into depressive or anxiety disorders.

Q4: What is the link between mourning and narcissistic perversion?
According to psychoanalyst Paul-Claude Racamier, when the process of mourning cannot take place, the psyche may defend itself through mechanisms of denial and control, leading to what he called narcissistic perversion. However, it is not only the failure of a specific mourning that triggers this defense, but rather the reactivation of an uncompleted Primary Mourning — the earliest, unconscious separation from the original bond with the mother. When this primal grief resurfaces without resolution, the mind protects itself by denying loss and seeking to dominate or absorb others instead of accepting separation. Healthy mourning, on the contrary, restores emotional balance and the capacity to love freely.