At an evening gathering where you meet new people, the same question always comes up:
“So, what do you do?”
For a long time, I used to answer by diverting the conversation. Instead of talking about my job, I tried to lead people toward what really matters to me:
what do I do in life to feel good, to feel fulfilled?
What are the things that make me feel alive, that interest me, that help me grow?
I preferred to speak about my activities and passions rather than let myself be locked into a professional box. Society expects first to stick a label on us: our job. Yet very often this job is just one activity among many, sometimes far from who we truly are.
My answer was often something like:
“I live… and I try to live as best I can.”
A Different Evening: Accepting to Name My new Job
That particular evening was different: it took place in a professional context.
So I played along and, for once, I answered the question directly.
And to my great surprise, it was… a delight.
Explaining what I do, watching reactions, silences, detours, shifts in people’s expression…
All of this absolutely fascinated me. Because my field touches something very intimate:
I work in the world of funeral urns, at the crossroads of death, grief and life.
Simply saying that is like throwing a stone into still water.
Saying “I Work with Death”: Throwing a Stone into the Taboo
There are several ways to introduce what I do.
- The direct version, a bit sharp:
“I work with funeral urns.” - The softer version, more wrapped:
I start by talking about a tree that grows, about a ritual that allows us to give life back in another form,
and then I gradually bring in the topic of death and grief.
Whichever door I choose, the result is the same:
this subject never leaves anyone indifferent.
You can immediately feel that you’re touching a taboo.
Looks change, voices shift, bodies open up or shut down.
But in almost every case, something opens: a crack, a curiosity, an emotion.
Lifting the Veil on Death and Grief
What struck me the most is how deeply each person is touched in their innermost sensitivity.
Very quickly, you can feel a desire to lift the veil on this topic of death that we almost never talk about.
Everyone has, in one way or another, experienced a moment of grief that left a mark more or less healed.
And this simple exchange becomes a rare opportunity:
- To talk about death without taboo
- To let out what has been weighing on them for a long time
- To put words on fears, questions, anger
- To finally feel allowed to speak about their questioning
The conversation becomes almost therapeutic.
No filter, no veil, no fear of judgment.
Just human beings who, for a moment, dare to show themselves vulnerable and real.
Talking About Death Is Talking About Life
What is fascinating is that, in reality, talking about death always means talking about life.
When we speak about loss, separation, the end of a story, we’re also speaking about:
- the love that once existed
- the bonds that continue in another form
- what we choose to do with our own life after grief
- what we want to honour, transmit, or let go of
- doubts and questions on this subject
In these conversations, death is no longer just a shadow we run away from.
It becomes a mirror reflecting back our way of living, of choosing, of loving and committing ourselves.
A Huge Need to Break the Taboo
That evening confirmed something for me:
in our society, there is a huge need to finally be able to talk about death and grief.
We live in a world where we show everything… except the end of life.
We disguise it, hide it, look away.
Yet as soon as a safe space is created, everything starts to flow:
words, tears, smiles, memories.
Daring to open this topic is like opening Pandora’s box,
but a Pandora’s box that, instead of destroying everything,
actually helps us set ourselves free, breathe again, feel less alone.
A Gift to Offer Yourself: Talking About Death to Love Life More
For me, witnessing these moments is a blessing.
It is a privilege to see people unveil themselves like this,
to watch them finally put words on what has been living inside them for years.
And it is also a gift that I truly wish you will experience one day:
the gift of talking about death without veil or taboo,
of sharing your experience of grief,
and, through that, reconnecting with life in a truer, deeper way.
Because in the end, lifting the veil on death
is often the most beautiful way to learn how to live again.
→ Read : The true nature of Tree Urn — how it transforms life
→ Read : Acknowledging Mortality for a Fulfilling Life in Full Awareness.
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